Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Force....

There is a flow to the universe
A river of energy
That connects us all
One mind
From the tiniest atom
To the grandest star
Some call it spirit
Some call it God
Others Chi
In reality it is simply
the force that drives the place
where dreams dwell
and creativity originates
A flow within each of us
and we within it
A single consciousness
A single life...
in Multiples
Connected as one


In the stillness of the morning
Thoughts begin to flow
Words begin to form...
A day
A world
begins to take shape
Nurtured and fed in the warmth
Of the rising sun
Cool air breaths life
In gentle kisses of hope
A new day
A new beginning
A new chance to live

Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Dream Weaver

Weaver of Stories
Weaver of People
Weaver of Hope
Weaver of Dreams
Goddess of Fates
Wheel Spinning
Threads of time
Patterns old and new
Each thread
Each hope
Each future
Each tale
Woven together in
The tapestry of life…

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Message to My Charges...

Enjoy the moment
The sun on your face
The color of air...
Learn to forgive
Hate and anger
Only cripple your soul...
Focus on the good
No matter how small
See the beauty in all things
Even in the most difficult
It will keep things
in perspective...
Stay true to yourself
Follow that inner voice
And find your ‘Bliss’...
Do what is right
Though hard,
Is easier to live with
In the long run...
Keep the child in your heart
The wind in your hair
Wisdom in your soul
Take your time
And don’t rush life
Or it will be over
Before you have lived…


Sunday, December 1, 2013


I was gently prodded by a very special someone that I needed to start writing again.  It is so true, from the mouth of babes great truth flows, a student suddenly the teacher.  Again, I am humbled.  Messengers come in all forms if you are willing to listen, willing to see, willing to believe. More often than not, the message is what you need at the precise time it is needed to be heard.  The trick is to separate what you need to hear from the chaotic noise that all too often invades our lives, our minds, our beings, causing us to forget, lost in the darkness and shadows of Plato’s cave…

And so I hear, or rather see a gentle post from a gentle soul, an angel really, reminding me to not lose sight of the gift I have been blessed with. A gift that keeps me rooted in who, and what, I really am.  It is a part of me, perhaps the better part of me,  that all too often gets drowned out by life’s responsibilities and desires, needs and expectations.  It was a part of me lost for decades under a sea of turmoil and neglect, drowning, a castaway waiting for a moment of calm to reemerge and be seen, recognized and nurtured.

Once a refugee lost in a wilderness of loneliness self –doubt, I have found sanctuary among like beings and friends who feed and nurture a once impoverished soul with hope and possibilities and love. Wrapped in the arms of like minds and kindred souls, I know life outside the cave is full of possibilities and light.  Truly seen and accepted, I no longer have a need to hide.  I am finally free.

It is these special someones, angels really, who continue to remind me who I need to be… just me.  



Saturday, November 30, 2013

Seasonal Thoughts...

Indian Summer…
like the seasons
has its place
its periods of dreams
of sowing, of reaping
and rest. 
A season for decompression
a period for reflection,
a space for tranquility
somewhere in the liminal.
Such are the Indian Summers
of our lives  
Bound in fall hues
of rusts and golds and sunset oranges,
of whispered thought
rustling through the leaves
shimmering on still water. 
A season to reflect
assess a life,
find peace, regroup, 
before winter closes in
blanketing the world
in deep

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Time to Be...

A time to grow
A time to know
my Self
Unencumbered by debris
And baggage
not of my own making
To be
A soul set free
Unencumbered flight
The breathless joy
Of just being….

Saturday, August 3, 2013

You See Me...

 You see me
 Behind the veils
 Of multiple masks
 Layer upon layer
 Built upon expectations
 And caricatured roles
 And yet you
 See me

Friday, August 2, 2013

Heart Whisperer

Gentle caresses
Supportive words
And calming voice
Patience and compassion
Toward a heart
Afraid to believe
Afraid to trust
Once a proud
And romantic soul
Broken and Battered
A dreamer
Jaded and scarred
Now skittish and scared
Guarded defenses up
A soft step
And gentle pace
Gingerly taken
The dance begins
A gentle hand                                                                                                  
And kind heart
Soothing a ravaged soul
Healing balm
On untended wounds
Promise the rebirth
Of a wounded spirit
To run
To fly
To soar
To be free…


Thursday, July 4, 2013


           A heart beat
           in tandem with my own. 

             A sign my life
would never be the same.
A being yet unseen,
Formed in an instant
a heartbeat in sync
With my own.
Amazed how
the tiny collection of cells
Once fluttering in my belly
is the man
who stands before me
now grown
a life in tandem with my own.
a complete human being.
Once nothing more
than a beating heart
in tandem with my own.

 A heart beat,
That will forever be
in tandem with my own…


Wednesday, July 3, 2013

The Hummingbird Effect...

Hummingbirds are magical little birds.  Jetting energetically back and forth, up and down, effortlessly hovering in thin air, it is hard not to be captivated by them.  My cousin loved them.  They seemed to speak to her.    In so many ways, she was like the little birds, always moving forward to savor each moment.
I keep feeders in memory of her.  Watching them makes me think not only of her, but my mother and grandmother as well.  Sometimes the birds come so close, I can hear the hum of their wings.  Occasionally, if I am not paying attention, one will ‘buzz’ me.  My favorite is a little female who always calls to me announcing her presence.  She reminds me of my cousin.  One day, I actually reached out for her. 

 When my mother and grandmother passed, it was my cousin who reached out for me.  She reached for me and anchored me when I was floundering in darkness.  Now that she is gone too, I can’t help but reflect on how much my life has changed... is changing.   Part of me wants to run forward and embrace the future like a child with all its possibilities, the other part is looking back afraid of going too far, losing my way.  It has been hard for me to let go of the past and what was familiar and ‘safe’.   For some reason, I have this weird nostalgic angst about moving forward.  I don’t like feeling adrift, without anchor, floundering.  These women were my anchors.  They kept me grounded in a sense of continuity, and now they are all gone.   The future requires a leap of faith.  I have never been good with uncertainty.  I guess I have trust issues.

And so, I reached for the little bird.  To my amazement, she hovered an inch above my hand in a bubble of vibrating air, so subtle, so brief, and yet so very timeless.  As tiny strands of swirling air brush my fingers, I was suddenly caught in a stream of consciousness, without beginning, without end, only of infinite possibilities, continuity and connectedness.  Fearlessly, the little hummingbird turned and squarely faced me.  Our eyes met.    I cannot begin to describe the joy that filled my soul.  For the briefest of moments, we connected and just like that, she darted away. 

I was Overwhelmed and unsure what it all meant.  It took another to point It out. “Don’t you get it?  It’s about putting your hand out,” he said.  “You won’t experience anything like that unless you put your hand out and reach for it.   It’s telling you to open your heart and take a chance.”
Some say the spirits of relatives reside in the tiny birds.  Perhaps it is true.  I would like very much to believe my cousin is still reaching out for me.   I finally understand what my cousin had been trying to tell me all along.   She had wanted me to tenaciously pursue happiness, be persistent and to never give up.  Her message was clear, to heal and move forward, life must be approached with an open heart and without fear .  I need to realize the beauty of my own truth.   Only then is it possible to fully reap life’s joy.

The Spinner weaves
The Weaver spins
and Laima dreams.....

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


Timeless winds
Blowing ever flowing,
Swirling consciousness in
Rivers of energy
And Chi flows.
Remnants of Lives,
Thoughts, memories
Quantum realities
Flow past carried in bits and pieces
Shimmering in the sun
Power in the unseen
Beyond thought
Beyond the mundane
Beyond the cars
That fills the parking lot below
And People moving to and fro.
How small we are
Oblivious to the forest
Lost in the trees of daily life…

In awe,
I watch currents move
Like the mind of God
Star dust remnants
And echoed dreams
Above and around and through
Swirling, curling
Moving life along
I look around
No one else seems to see
I am lost, Insignificant
Yet part of it
Connected to something greater
Awareness of something greater
For a moment I can see
Now and forever humbled,
I join the people moving to and fro


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

For Judith…

The Goddess Made Manifest

She is timeless
Ever present
All knowing
Gentle guide
of Infinite Wisdom...
Mother figure
Connected in time
Stream of Consciousness
Hair wild and flowing
Infinite strands
Binding together
Swirling patterns in currents
Of cosmic dreams
In purple mists
And Silver mirrored realities
Pointing the way
To universal mysteries
And self- discovery
A tiny frame
Larger than life
Ancient and Ageless
My guide
My mentor
The Goddess
Made manifest

Sunday, April 28, 2013

The Art of Shoe Shopping…

 I have been contemplating my life a lot lately and I have come to the conclusion love and relationships are a lot like buying shoes.  There are so many styles, so many considerations when deciding which shoe will be the best fit not just for your feet, but also for your lifestyle and personality.  More often than not, we are seduced by the sexy red stilettos of Hollywood image makers.  Sleek and flashy, they turn heads promising a fantasy life of glamor and glitz and excitement, intrigue and romance.   Unfortunately, fantasy is what they usually are, in the end, the reality being more like sore feet, twisted ankles and life –long back problems.  More often than not, such shoes are mostly image without substance.  Sold as the feminine ideal, they often limit a woman’s ability to express her full potential by locking her into a patriarchal definition of is feminine. They limit her ability to run. 
And yet, I still envied those that made it look so effortless and graceful.  
I wanted so much to be like them, but alas, awkward and clumsy, I understood how Cinderella’s step sisters must have felt trying to stuff their feet into a shoe that just didn’t fit.  I spent a good portion of my life trying to force my feet into something they were not meant to be, to fit a relationship that was not meant to be.    I know all too well the disappointment, feelings of failure and inadequacy eroding self-esteem because I could not master the ‘image’.   Drowning in disapproval; never enough… not good enough… not woman enough… never enough…so much to live up to,  all the time thinking there was something wrong with me.  I never considered maybe the problem was always the shoe itself.
Still…  I thought perhaps if I tried a lower heel, something a little closer to the ground, a little more professional, a little closer to reality, a little closer to me, maybe I could make it work.  Maybe I could still live up to expectations.  I’ve worked with women that glided through the work day, the essence of power an authority and grace, a feminine mystique.  “It’s not that hard.  Just take them off when you get home. You have to have other shoes to wear.”  I do have my girlie side after all, and I am a product of pervasive social expectations of what is properly feminine. With that, I would try the next pair.   Yes, perhaps if I tried really hard, a lower heal would work… then again, maybe not.  Though less painful, my toes still pinched.  I still couldn’t run or even walk thru soft grass without my heel getting stuck.  God forbid, I had to walk thru some rocks.  Such shoes are only made for smooth surfaces, not for the uneven surfaces life often provides.  Desperate, I even tried those cute little sandals everyone wears in the summer time.  Not well made, they don’t last long, more often not, paying for looks not quality. They blistered my feet and my heels were always dry, cracked and dirty.
I tried and tried to make it work.  I must have bought a lifetime of shoes trying to fit another’s expectations.  My closet was full of shoes taking up space, many barely even worn, and yet I couldn’t quite let them go.  It would mean admitting defeat, admitting I was a failure. I kept thinking one day, I will be able to wear them, make it work.  Instead, they simply became a constant reminder, a testament to the ill fitted expectations I would never meet.  In the end, the only thing I knew for sure was that my feet hurt, aching from the neglect that comes from being unappreciated, under-valued, unrecognized.
I now know, the key to buying a pair of shoes is knowing something about yourself. I began to realize each pair taught me something, my likes and dislikes, what made me happiest and most content.  Each experience taught me something about myself and the type of relationship I really wanted.   The ill-fitted shoes of the world and the discomfort they caused me were invaluable. They taught me to appreciate quality and a proper fit, and for that I am grateful. 
Relationships are a lot like shoes.  The pain some relationships inflict, like shoes, demand a person to be true to themselves and not the artificially created expectations of others or even one’s own self.   Once you realize what type of relationship is best for you, it’s easier to let go, self-actualize and begin enjoying and truly living life.  It is easier to find the partner that is right for you.
It took a long time, but in the end, I found the best fit for me.  I am a boots, hiking boots kind of girl.  They are sturdy and keep me grounded on the rockiest of paths.  I don’t need heels to reach great heights because I now am able to climb mountains. I can wiggle my toes at will and my feet are never cold.  I can explore beyond the confines of smooth surfaces and artificially constructed non-realities that so often denied my own truth and left me broken hearted and shattered.   I now have a shoe that loves, accepts and nurtures me as I am. 
And thus is the Art of Shoe Shopping… always listen to your feet.  When you do, you will find the right shoe.